March 15, 2006

TITANS GIVIN’ GIVENS A FIVE-YEAR PACT

by Michael Stephens

Wide receiver David Givens has signed a five-year, $24 million deal with the Tennessee Titans, reports the Boston Globe.

A seventh-round draft pick out of Notre Dame four seasons ago, Givens developed into a solid wideout with the Patriots, winning Super Bowl rings in 2003 and 2004, and setting the franchise’s career mark for postseason receptions. But he wanted to be a #1 receiver, not second fiddle to Deion Branch (and possibly others) in the Patriots’ committee-style passing attack. His deal with the Titans includes an $8 million signing bonus.

“David is young, he’s healthy, he’s productive, and he is as classy as anyone you’d ever want to meet,” Titans G.M. Floyd Reese said. “He’ll be a leader on our team, and to top it all off, he’s got more Super Bowl rings than he’s got fingers for, and that’s very, very important to us. We’re very happy to have him and excited.”

Huh? He’s only got two rings, Floyd. Lay off the booze, man.
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JUST SIGN HIM TO A DAMN CONTRACT: KEYSHAWN JOHNSON RELEASED

by JJ Cameron

Just throw him the damn ball. Please. Pretty please. Anyone?

In order to avoid paying Keyshawn Johnson a $1 million roster bonus this week, the Cowboys cut the selfish, better-than-average receiver yesterday. The former number-one draft pick led Dallas last season with receptions (71) and sideline eruptions aimed at Drew Bledsoe (1). He also caught six touchdowns.

While Johnson now joins the free agent market, the real focus will be on whether or not Dallas made the move in order to make room for another surly wide out. Yes, fans, consider this the first commentary regarding a possible destination for Terrell Owens. Recently released by the Eagles, could this idiot end up in the same division as Philly in 2006?

The Files will keep you posted. Purely a possession receiver, Johnson can typically be counted on for around six or seven receptions a game - and approximately 17 yards. No matter where he ends up, he’s no better than a third WR on your fantasy team.

     
   
     

March 14, 2006

LIONS SIGN KITNA TO BACK-UP AWFUL, DISAPPOINTING, EMBARASSING HARRINGTON

by JJ Cameron

In Cincinnati, Carson Palmer is entrenched as the Bengals’ starting quarterback. So why would Jon Kitna stay there?

In Detroit, however, the Lions employ the biggest draft bust since Ryan Leaf under center. It’s the perfect opportunity for Kitna to regain a starting spot. Using this logic, the veteran signed a four-year deal with Detoit this week.

Showing the utmost confidence in Joey Harrington, the Lions aren’t simply relying on Kitna to compete for the starting job. The club signed Shaun King to a contract a couple weeks ago.

With a receiving corps that includes Roy Williams and Mike Williams, the Detroit signal caller should be a highly sought after player for your fantasy squad. Too bad it’s been Harrington for the last few years. If When Kitna wins the role, don’t underestimate him as a back-up for your team.

     
   
     

EAGLES OFFICIALLY CUT OWENS; FANS REJOICE

by Michael Stephens

As of this afternoon, Terrell Owens is free to play for any team that wants to make a horrible mistake and sign him. The Philadelphia Eagles released the wide receiver Tuesday, officially severing ties with the star after two tumultuous seasons.

Owens was due a $5 million roster bonus Wednesday, so the Eagles had to cut him or trade him by today to avoid paying him the money. The move was a mere formality after Owens was kicked off the team in November following his repeated contract squabbling and criticism of quarterback Donovan McNabb.

The Eagles gave Owens and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, permission to talk with other teams in January. The former All-Pro has met with the Denver Broncos, while Miami and Dallas reportedly have interest in Owens, and Kansas City has said it would consider signing the flamboyant f-kup to a one-year, incentive-laden deal.

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BREES BLOWS OFF S.D., INTO BIG EASY

by Michael Stephens

Quarterback Drew Brees has signed with the New Orleans Saints, rebuffing a final offer to remain with San Diego, reports that city’s Union-Tribune.

Brees Signs With Saints

The Chargers offered Brees $50 million over six years, but most of that money was not guaranteed. He would have been paid $2 million guaranteed next season with the opportunity to make up to $8 million more based on playing time, with a similar structure in the forthcoming years.

But Brees, 27, wanted a bigger financial commitment, and so his turbulent career with the Chargers, which was resuscitated even after the team drafted Philip Rivers to replace him two years ago, is finally over. The Saints’ offer of $60 million over six years, with a $10 million signing bonus, was too much for him to turn down. Miami reportedly engaged in the bidding over Brees, but dropped out when it traded for Daunte Culpepper.

The former Purdue star was the team’s starter in 2002 and the majority of a horrible 2003 season. In 2004, Brees defiantly kept his starting job by turning in one of the best seasons by a quarterback in franchise history and making the Pro Bowl. He followed that up with a solid 2005 season, but suffered a separated shoulder and partial rotator cuff tear in the finale. He had surgery January 5 and says he is ready to play this season.

The injury is a concern for New Orleans and fantasy owners alike, but Brees has proven his toughness in the starter’s role. With Joe Horn and Deuce McAllister as his chief weapons, he can do damage in the Big Easy. He’s certainly a better bet than Rivers, at least until the former N.C. State star shows what he can do. As for former Saints starer Aaron Brooks, who the heck knows what that guy is up to.

     
   
     

TRADE WINDS BLOW CULPEPPER TO MIAMI

by JJ Cameron

After weeks of rumors, innuendos and many, many emails, Daunte Culpepper has finally gotten his wish: the All-Pro quarterback has been traded to the Miami Dolphins. This is really a win-win scenario for all involved.

Culpepper is not only out of Minnesota, he’s playing in a city by the water. There’s no telling how many sex cruises can be enjoyed in southern Florida. He’s also hitting the Miami real estate market at a perfect time for buyers seeking a reasonable Florida home loan down south. Some guys have all the luck.

Another benefactor of this deal? Chris Chambers. Look for the wide receiver to possibly leap into the top five at his position for next season’s fantasy draft.

The Vikings, meanwhile, will receive a second round pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. Fred Smoot is hoping it’s Candy. Possibly Crystal. There’s a far better chance that the team gives new starter Brad Johnson some help on the offensive line or at running back. But you never know, Fred. We’ve heard that Mystique can set a mean pancake block.

     
   
     

March 13, 2006

ANYTHING-BUT-GREAT DAYNE TO STAY IN DENVER

by Michael Stephens

A Denver news station reports that the Broncos have agreed to re-sign running back Ron Dayne and have hammered out a three-year contract. Terms of the deal were not disclosed, and the station did not specify whether a night of heavy drinking and strippers contributed to G.M. Ted Sundquist’s lapse in judgment.

“Ron showed us in 2005 that he certainly has the skills to be a productive part of the Broncos’ rushing attack,” Sundquist said. “His contributions should only be greater in 2006, and we feel he has finally found a place where he can showcase his talent.”

Look, Ted. We are talking about Ron Dayne here. The only place his “talent” is being showcased is the buffet line. What a disgrace this man is. Let’s recap:

2000: Dayne is selected by my beloved New York Giants in the first round (11th overall) of the NFL Draft. He played in all 16 games, making four starts, and rushed for 770 yards on 228 attempts (for 3.4 yards per carry). He scored five times as the short-lived “thunder” to Tiki Barber’s lightning.

2001: Dayne appeared in all 16 games for the Giants, leading the team with a career-high seven rushing TDs while picking up 690 yards rushing on 180 attempts (3.8 yards per carry).

2002: Noticeably heavier, he appears in all 16 games, starting one (for some reason, while rushing for an incredible 428 yards rushing on 125 carries (another solid 3.4 yards per carry) with three TDs.

2003: Dayne was mercifully inactive for all 16 games with the Giants.

2004: Somehow appearing in 14 games and starting two of them, Dayne put together massive totals of 179 yards on 52 carries (good for his standard 3.4 per) on the season.

2005: Gained 270 yards on 53 carries (a 5.1 average) in 10 games of action for Denver. Sure, the average is up, but with Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell softening up defenses, my colleague J.J. Cameron could have probably run for 10 yards a carry.

This is hysterical. How people keep their jobs when underperforming to such an incredible extent in this league is a mystery. Do not go anywhere near Ron Dayne in your fantasy league. Or when he walks into the all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. If you stand between him and a California roll, he may actually devour you. Crazy as it sounds, you’d be better off with Maurice Clarett, who at least packs heat.

     
   
     

RAVENS FLOCK TO RUNNING BACKS; KEEP LEWIS, SIGN ANDERSON

by JJ Cameron

It’s hard to choose the main reason why the Baltimore Ravens re-signed Jamal Lewis. Were they afraid his former shower mates in prison would seek revenge if they let him walk? Did curiosity get the best of the team? Just how far could his yards per carry plummet after last season’s paltry 3.4?

It’s not as though they had a solid back-up plan. The signing of Mike Anderson, a 1,000-yard back with 12 touchdowns in Denver last season, was just a ploy to make other clubs think Baltimore had lost the Jamal scent. And it worked perfectly.

The Ravens must have thought that NFL news would be filled with the Edgerrin James deal - who would even notice they brought back a former jail bird that openly stated his lack of desire at times last season? The Files, that’s who.

We’re here to make sure NO ONE drafts this lazy drug runner in any fantasy round next year. He ran for a grand total of three scores and barely 900 yards in 2005. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

     
   
     

March 12, 2006

REDSKINS CONTINUE TO BOLSTER RECEIVING CORPS, INK RANDLE EL

by JJ Cameron


After a run to the playoffs and a comeback season for Mark Brunell, the Redskins appear dedicated to providing the veteran QB with receiving help. First, they traded for Brandon Lloyd.

Now, they’ve beaten the Niners, Bears and any other club to the Randle El punch, signing the former Super Bowl star to a six-year deal. The wide out and former college quarterback should take a lot of pressure of Santana Moss next year.

     
   
     

ARIZONA ADDS MAJOR EDGE TO ITS OFFENSE

by JJ Cameron

That didn’t take long. On the first full day of free agency, the most sought after fish on the market was reeled in. Edgerrin James signed a four-year, $30 million contract with the Arizona Cardinals.

Forget what this means for which team is now favored to reach next year’s Super Bowl - the move has MAJOR fantasy implications. Let’s review:

- Where does James rank among top running backs now? Can you count on him as an elite back in Arizona? Could a player in a run-first system, such as DeShaun Foster, actually leap over Edge in your draft?

- Is Peyton Manning still the top quarterback? Will teams drop back into a constant dime defense now that the running attack has been diminished?

- What about Dominic Rhodes? Now the Indy starting back, can you expect James-type numbers from this former back-up?

- Is there a more offensively loaded team than the Cardinals? What does this mean for the apocalypse? Kurt Warner can now hand the ball to James or throw it to a pair of All-Pro wide receivers: Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald?

Does the man make the system or vice versa? That’s the question fantasy owners will have to decide as they make up their draft board next season. One thing appears to be for certain, however: apparently God really is on Kurt Warner’s side.

     
   
     


 
     
     
   
     
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