July 18, 2006

49ERS PLAN NEW STADIUM TO HOUSE COMPLETE FANTASY FOOTBALL BUSTS

by JJ Cameron

In a few years, San Francisco 49ers fans can at least have one reason to attend a home football game - and it won't be the play of their favorite team.

Fuuumble!

The club recently announced an update on design plans for the interior of a new 68,000 seat stadium at Candlestick Point in San Francisco’s Bayview-Hunters Point community. The aim is to complete construction in time for the 2012 season.

“We’re designing our new stadium from the inside out to ensure it’s packed with the right amenities to create an unparalleled game day experience for each and every one of our fans,” said team co-owner John York.

He failed to mention how the product on the field certainly won't contribute to that. How come? Let's review the current crop of Niners at skill positions, those NO fantasy football owner should touch:

- Alex Smith, QB: The second-year player threw a single TD pass in 2005. His hands are also too small to hold a football. Read that sentence again.

- Kevan Barlow, RB: We'll forget the annoying way he spells his first name, but Barlow's 3.3 yards/carry last season almost made Jamal Lewis look good. San Francisco would be well-served handing the starting job to Frank Gore.

- Arnaz Battle, WR: We guess this is the team's top wide out heading into 2006. He played quarterback in college.

Thee you have it. Allow The Files this piece of advice: if any of these players are on your fantasy football draft board, you've already lost.

     
   
     

February 15, 2006

WEST TEXAS A&M TURNS OVER NEW LEAF

by JJ Cameron

Last season, the West Texas A&M Buffaloes were 10-2 and led Division II in passing offense. Apparently Head Coach Don Carthel has grown sick of that sort of success. What else would explain his decision to sign uber-bust, Ryan Leaf, as his new quarterbacks coach?!?

The mercurial, selfish, incredibly awful Leaf was selected second overall (behindRyan Leaf sucks Peyton Manning) in the 1998 draft. He didn’t last long in San Diego, however, creating problems off the field while throwing 36 interceptions on it.

“I feel very honored to be a part of coach Carthel’s staff and a part of an up-and-coming, successful program,” the 29-year-old Leaf said.

The chances of that program continuing its winning ways now? Slim. The odds of any Buffaloes’ QB being drafted as long as Leaf is his coach? None. While the Chargers may be facing a starting quarterback dilemma heading into next season, they can at least be happy this former flameout isn’t an option any longer.

     
   
     


 
     
     
   
     
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