July 26, 2006


by Michael Stephens

We hope you've been enjoying our official Mock Draft, Fantasy Football Files staff style. It's been a wild ride, with some real surprises to go along with the predictable early going. You've seen the picks and witty remarks from round one. Then you saw the drama continue to unfold in round two. We even gave you the full rundown of round three. What's next? You guessed it.

Round four. The Draft Order:Tom Brady = Too Sexy

31. Jeff_Probst_wannabe
32. JamalLewisMustDie
33. Montana2Rice
34. The Deciders
35. Team Ecosystem
36. GoldGlove24
37. Employee001
38. the iForce
39. KissMyTightEnd
40. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience

The Unedited Fourth Round:


[Jeff_Probst_wannabe]: Tom Brady. My respect for him as a player and my unrelenting man-love for him as a human being makes this a no-brainer.

The Edge[JamalLewisMustDie]: At least you're honest. JamalLewisMustDie will select the man the Colts wanted so bad they let the Edge walk. And I'm not talking about The Edge, as in the guitarist from U2 (left), whose given name, I believe, is David Evans. I am talking about star running back Edgerrin James. Who, come to think of it, I really wish I could take in this spot. But as he's no longer available, so I'll take Reggie Wayne.

[Montana2Rice]: Roy Williams. The receiver on Detroit, not the Cowboys safety. Just clearing that up.

[JamalLewisMustDie]: Thanks, jackass. Nice team name.

[Montana2Rice]: How many Super Bowls have you won, Jamal? Oh, snap!

[The Deciders]: You guys both suck. Really hard. You put Lindsay Lohan to shame. You know who won't suck at all this year, though? Corey Dillon.

[Team Ecosystem]: Santana Moss
will be growing in this particular ecosystem come September.

[GoldGlove24]: Chris
"Gas" Chambers.

[Employee001]: Ha, does that mean you are gonna execute him if he drops a pass in the end zone? Geez. Time for me to take the man with perhaps the oddest first name in sports, and that's saying a lot. Plaxico Burress. He may not be smart, but man can that guy run.

[the iForce]: Despite only carrying the ball six times a game coming into this year, I have high hopes that Tatum will ring the Bell of scoring (boo) many times this year.

[Employee001]: You are probably the least funny person on this planet.

[the iForce]: You are probably fired as of the end of the day.

[Employee001]: Well played.

[KissMyTightEnd]: Reuben Droughns… On and on and on…

[The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience]: Enough. I conclude this round with Javon Walker.


The Rundown, Sans Commentary…

31. Jeff_Probst_wannabe — Tom Brady, QB, New England
32. JamalLewisMustDie — Reggie Wayne, WR, Indianapolis
33. Montana2Rice — Roy Williams, WR, Detroit
34. The Deciders — Corey Dillon, RB, New England
35. Team Ecosystem — Santana Moss, WR, Washington
36. GoldGlove24 — Chris Chambers, WR, Miami
37. Employee001 — Plaxico Burress, WR, N.Y. Giants
38. the iForce — Tatum Bell, RB, Denver
39. KissMyTightEnd — Reuben Droughns, RB, Cleveland
40. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience — Javon Walker, WR, Denver


The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience:
Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City
Domanick Davis, RB, Houston
Reggie Bush, RB, New Orleans
Javon Walker, WR, Denver

LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, San Diego
Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis
Randy Moss, WR, Oakland
Reuben Droughns, RB, Cleveland

the iForce:
Shaun Alexander, RB, Seattle
Antonio Gates, TE, San Diego
Brian Westbrook, RB, Philadelphia
Tatum Bell, RB, Denver

Tiki Barber, RB, N.Y. Giants
Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Arizona
Willie Parker, RB, Pittsburgh
Plaxico Burress, WR, N.Y. Giants

Edgerrin James, RB, Arizona
Willis McGahee, RB, Buffalo
Julius Jones, RB, Dallas
Chris Chambers, WR, Miami

Team Ecosystem:
Rudi Johnson, RB, Cincinnati
Chad Johnson, WR, Cincinnati
Kevin Jones, RB, Detroit
Santana Moss, WR, Washington

The Deciders:
Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis
Carnell Williams, RB, Tampa Bay
Torry Holt, WR, St. Louis
Corey Dillon, RB, New England

Clinton Portis, RB, Washington
Ronnie Brown, RB, Miami
Anquan Boldin, WR, Arizona
Roy Williams, WR, Detroit


Terrell Owens, WR, Dallas
Lamont Davis, RB, Oakland
Warrick Dunn, WR, Atlanta
Reggie Wayne, WR, Indianapolis

Steve Smith, WR, Carolina
Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis
Hines Ward, WR, Pittsburgh
Tom Brady, QB, New England


July 25, 2006


by Michael Stephens

Yes, the commentary is petering out. But the Fantasy Football Files Mock Draft is still going, as our experts have now completed round three.

See how it all started in the good ol' days of the first round, then get the skinny on the second round. Below is the full rundown of the Files' fantasy draft's third round, beginning with the 21st overall pick. Watch with amusement as the The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience loads up on running backs and others load up on receiving threats. Which will pay off?

The Draft Order:Reggie Bush

21. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience
22. KissMyTightEnd
23. the iForce
24. Employee001
25. GoldGlove24
26. Team Ecosystem
27. The Deciders
28. Montana2Rice
29. JamalLewisMustDie
30. Jeff_Probst_wannabe

And now, the Unedited Third Round:


[The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience]: … the once future Texan (who plays for the Saints), Reggie Bush.

[KissMyTightEnd]: He hasn't run over a police officer in two years. I'll take Randy Moss.

[the iForce]: The other Brian - Westbrook.

[Employee001]: The temptation here is to pick the alliterative Julius Jones, but I must pass on him in favor of Pittsburgh's Willie Parker for three reasons:

1. I hate Dallas
2. Pittsburgh's run-heavy offense may become even more dependent upon
the ground game now that their QB's face is broken.
3. Imagine how many more goal line carries Parker may potentially
receive now that Jerome Bettis is gone. To say nothing of the extra food
during team dinners.

With the Bus parked for good and no longer a factor at the buffet line, Willie will get the extra nourishment he needs to build strength andbecome an elite back.

[GoldGlove24]: Julius Jones.

(72 hours later)

Tommy Lee Jones

[Team Ecosystem]: Has it been my pick all this time? Apologies. I'll take director/actor/running back triple threat Kevin "Smith/Tommy Lee" Jones, who should see marked improvement in the new Lions system. Oh, who am I kidding? That team is still going to be terrible.

[The Deciders]: Torry Holt.

[Montana2Rice]: Anquan Boldin.

[JamalLewisMustDie]: Warrick Dunn.

Hines Ward.


The Rundown, Sans Commentary…

21. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience — Reggie Bush, RB, Houston
22. KissMyTightEnd — Randy Moss, WR, Oakland
23. the iForce — Brian Westbrook, RB, Philadelphia
24. Employee001 — Willie Parker, RB, Pittsburgh
25. GoldGlove24 — Julius Jones, RB, Dallas
26. Team Ecosystem — Kevin Jones, RB, Detroit
27. The Deciders — Torry Holt, WR, St. Louis
28. Montana2Rice — Anquan Boldin, WR, Arizona
29. JamalLewisMustDie — Warrick Dunn, WR, Atlanta
30. Jeff_Probst_wannabe — Hines Ward, WR, Pittsburgh


The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience:
Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City
Domanick Davis, RB, Houston
Reggie Bush, RB, New Orleans
LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, San Diego
Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis
Randy Moss, WR, Oakland

the iForce:
Shaun Alexander, RB, Seattle
Antonio Gates, TE, San Diego
Brian Westbrook, RB, Philadelphia

Tiki Barber, RB, N.Y. Giants
Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Arizona
Willie Parker, RB, Pittsburgh


Edgerrin James, RB, Arizona
Willis McGahee, RB, Buffalo
Julius Jones, RB, Dallas

Team Ecosystem:
Rudi Johnson, RB, Cincinnati
Chad Johnson, WR, Cincinnati
Kevin Jones, RB, Detroit

The Deciders:

Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis
Carnell Williams, RB, Tampa Bay
Torry Holt, WR, St. Louis


Clinton Portis, RB, Washington
Ronnie Brown, RB, Miami
Anquan Boldin, WR, Arizona


Terrell Owens, WR, Dallas
Lamont Davis, RB, Oakland
Warrick Dunn, WR, Atlanta

Steve Smith, WR, Carolina
Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis
Hines Ward, WR, Pittsburgh


July 23, 2006


by JJ Cameron

We love the now svelte scribe for Sports Illustrated - but to say his recent predictions and advice have been off base is an understatement.

Jones was a 2005 Bust

Two years ago, King foresaw an MVP trophy for Denver quarterback, Jake Plummer. That didn't exactly pan out.

Last year, the writer jumped aboard the Julius Jones bandwagon, causing at least one expert from The Files to select the Dallas RB early in his fantasy football draft. The 1,500 yards King predicted didn't pan out - Jones never once rushed for more than 100 in a 2005 game.

Now? The latest issue of SI provides readers with this nugget from King: fantasy football running backs are overrated. Any first round selection outside the top few MUST be Peyton Manning.

Nevermind that Manning's numbers last year were scarcely better than those of Tom Brady; or that rushing TDs are worth more than passing ones in fantasy football.

But go ahead and believe King if you'd like to. Maybe you also wanna pick up Plummer in the second round.


July 21, 2006


by Michael Stephens

With the Fantasy Football Files Mock Draft in full swing, our experts wasted no time getting down to business in round two. Actually, that's a complete lie. Plenty of time was wasted. Some of them actually have jobs that don't entail running fantasy football sites. Tragic.

See how it all began in the first round. Then see below for the rundown on the second round of the Files' official draft. The draft order, as is customary, is now reversed, with the lowly owner of the 10th overall pick, Jeff_Probst_wannabe, picking first — underscores and all.

The Draft Order:Antonio Gates

11. Jeff_Probst_wannabe
12. JamalLewisMustDie
13. Montana2Rice
14. The Deciders
15. Team Ecosystem
16. GoldGlove24
17. Employee001
18. the iForce
19. KissMyTightEnd
20. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience

And now, the Unedited Second Round:


[Jeff_Probst_wannabe]: Jeff_Probst_wannabe starts out the 2nd round with Stephen [sic] Jackson. Always bet on black. And a team no longer led by Mike Martz.

[JamalLewisMustDie]: JamalLewisMustDie must now select who will take Jamal Lewis' role as colossal, overrated running back bust. It's too early to tell, but we feel Lamont Jordan is up to the task.

With Daunte Culpepper on the verge of being knee-less any day now - and Joey Harrington as Miami's reliable back-up - we're gonna assume the Dolphins run the ball a lot. Come on down, Ronnie Brown.

[The Deciders]: There's a round TWO? Steven Jackson - is that someone? I'll take him.

Steven Segal

[Team Ecosystem]: Steven Jackson was already taken. Both Steven Segal (left) and Action Jackson are still around, though. Note: I will trade up for Action Jackson

[The Deciders]: My turn again? Carnell Williams

[Team Ecosystem]: As I am attempting to do my best Richenthal impression, I plan to grab as many Johnsons as I can today. Chad Johnson

[GoldGlove24]: Hard to pass up Willis McGahee with this pick - he's the best of a small core of remaining 1st teir [sic] RBs which includes Dominick Davis, Brian Westbrook, and Julius Jones. McGahee only scoring 5 TDs despite 1250 yards last year has to be considered an anomoly [sic] and that he'll bounce back.

[Employee001]: It is a great honor for Employee001 to bring back one of his favorite fantasy employees, Larry Fitzgerald, for a third consecutive season.

[the iForce]: Let's open the flood Gates of scoring, huh, gents? Antonio, it is.

[The Deciders]: (throwing up into shirt)

[The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience]: Throwing up into shirt? Sounds like something Chris Henry would do. Bit of a reach on that pick.

[The Deciders]: Marvin Harrison.

[The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience]: I will take the once and current Texan, Domanick Davis, and…


The Rundown, Sans Commentary…

11. Jeff_Probst_wannabe — Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis
12. JamalLewisMustDie — Lamont Davis, RB, Oakland
13. Montana2Rice — Ronnie Brown, RB, Miami
14. The Deciders — Carnell Williams, RB, Tampa Bay
15. Team Ecosystem — Chad Johnson, WR, Cincinnati
16. GoldGlove24 — Willis McGahee, RB, Buffalo
17. Employee001 — Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Arizona
18. the iForce — Antonio Gates, TE, San Diego
19. KissMyTightEnd — Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis
20. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience — Domanick Davis, RB, Houston


July 20, 2006


by Michael Stephens

It's finally time for the draft. The Fantasy Football Files mock fantasy draft, that is. Follow along with the 10 experts on our staff as they sift through the talent pool and select their rosters, round by round, e-mail by e-mail, andLarry Johnson is #1 insult by insult.

The Draft Order:

1. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience
2. KissMyTightEnd
3. the iForce
4. Employee001
5. GoldGlove24
6. Team Ecosystem
7. The Deciders
8. Montana2Rice
9. JamalLewisMustDie
10. Jeff_Probst_wannabe

And now, the Unedited First Round:


[The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience]: Let's take a look at the first overall picks from the past several years. Ladainian Tomlinson, obviously. Priest Holmes had a few solid years. Even my man so nice they first-named him twice, Shaun Alexander has been taken first. In leagues that value the QB, Peyton Manning goes first overall. And who could forget Boo Williams? (bit of a stretch, I know).

Anyway, to break with tradition of "first round picks with ridiculous names", I'm taking my man in Amsterdam, Mister Larry Johnson.

[KissMyTightEnd]: LJ? Have you taken a look at the Chiefs schedule? Tough matchups for him early on - especially "LJ vs. orthopetic surgeon" in week 4. I'll take LT.

[the iForce]: Oh no, I can't have Tomlinson and the defenses he'll face with a new quarterback, Philip Rivers, behind center? That's one "L" of a loss for my squad! Give me Shaun Alexander.

[KissMyTightEnd]: Alexander?! Figured you would pick the most metrosexual running back in football. What - Tiki's face isn't smooth enough for you?

[Employee001]: I choose Tiki Barber. And chat rooms for the next mock draft. And a dental plan.

[GoldGlove24]: If Tiki is gone, the #5 pick could be either the worst or best pick in the draft, depending upon your opinion of Edgerrin James in Arizona. Of course there will be a drop off in production, but if you don't think it will be much, James at #5 is a steal.

However, if you anticipate a more dramatic drop off, you now have to debate whether to take Rudi Johnson or Stephen Jackson too high, or risk Edgerrin James. This team is gonna take the leap with Edgerrin.

Keisha Knight Pulliam (a.k.a. Rudy Huxtable)

[Team Ecosystem]: Rudi Johnson. Why? Because Rudi Huxtable (left) doesn't have a solid O-line blocking for her. Also, because I think she's serving a four-game suspension to start the season. Possible late-round sleeper, though.

[The Deciders]: 7 picks, 60 minutes. Who are the ad wizards behind this one? I think Peyton - but am wary about picking a QB, because at this I may be able to get Brady Quinn in a late round. I'll start with Peyton.

[Montana2Rice]: Peyton Manning? He comes through in the clutch almost as often as I find original critiques of him. Clinton Portis, however? His teams never lose in the first round of the playoffs.

[KissMyTightEnd]: I thought this was about stats? I hate you.

[JamalLewisMustDie]: Last year, around this time, I picked Jamal Lewis. We all know how that worked out.

The safe route would be for JamalLewisMustDie to select the best running back available with this, the 9th overall selection, but I am going to ignore conventional wisdom the way Richenthal would a third base coach in softball — in other words, making a thoroughly awful, selfish decision that adversely impacts the whole team.

I pick Terrell Owens.

[The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience] Jamal Lewis is still available? Trade up, TJJKE, trade up!

[The Deciders] Jackie Joyner Exp - are you in NYC? Want to go halfsies on an escort in between rounds?

[Jeff_Probst_wannabe] J_P_w selects MVSmith with the last pick of the 1st round. If you don't know why and/or think this was a reach, you clearly don't watch fooball.

[Team Ecosystem] Luke wins the "Fake Draft/Fake Players" award. Who is MV Smith? I know you're not trying to combine MVP with Steve Smith. You should instead try to combine 7 to 8 additional inches to Steve Smith.


The Rundown, Sans Commentary…

1. The Jackie Joyner Kersey Experience — Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City
2. KissMyTightEnd — LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, San Diego
3. the iForce — Shaun Alexander, RB, Seattle
4. Employee001 — Tiki Barber, RB, N.Y. Giants
5. GoldGlove24 — Edgerrin James, RB, Arizona
6. Team Ecosystem — Rudi Johnson, RB, Cincinnati
7. The Deciders — Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis
8. Montana2Rice — Clinton Portis, RB, Washington
9. JamalLewisMustDie — Terrell Owens, WR, Dallas
10. Jeff_Probst_wannabe — Steve Smith, WR, Carolina


July 19, 2006


by JJ Cameron

The WHO is not up for debate: Larry Johnson should be the first overall pick in any fantasy football draft this year.

But what about the WHERE? Given the choice - as some leagues do, by rewarding the previous season's top finishers with their preferred positions - of which draft pick to be locked into, what spot is most likely to lead to a championship?

Let's rule out any of the middle selections right now. Assuming you agree that running backs are the most important position, how do you deciper between this second-rate tier? Do you go with Rudi Johnson, Clinton Portis, Edgerrin James?

You'd be off near the bottom. These players will have been sifted through already by fellow league members, a solid starting back will remain and you'll be set up well in round two.

LT Breaks LooseBut what about the top? Is snaring a top producer worth the wait until the second round finally swings back your way? Every early selection matters, as there are only a handful of exceptional wide receivers and backs out there. That's why we'd advoid the top spot. Johnson is phenomenal, but there may not be any serviceable backfield mates remaining by the time you pick again - and the Marvin Harrisons and Chad Johnsons of the world will also be gone.

Therefore, without further build-up, here is the ideal draft position, according to The Files: NUMBER-THREE. Here's why:

You'll end up with a top tier running back, most likely LaDainian Tomlinson. He's very good - and the value of all other backs falls significantly after the initial trio is off the board (sorry, Tiki, we still can't put you in this class).

An important contributor will still be available in the following round, while you'll barely be able to ogle over LT's stats and highlights before it's your selection again in round three. Sounds like the make-up of a successful squad to us!


July 18, 2006


by JJ Cameron

In a few years, San Francisco 49ers fans can at least have one reason to attend a home football game - and it won't be the play of their favorite team.


The club recently announced an update on design plans for the interior of a new 68,000 seat stadium at Candlestick Point in San Francisco’s Bayview-Hunters Point community. The aim is to complete construction in time for the 2012 season.

“We’re designing our new stadium from the inside out to ensure it’s packed with the right amenities to create an unparalleled game day experience for each and every one of our fans,” said team co-owner John York.

He failed to mention how the product on the field certainly won't contribute to that. How come? Let's review the current crop of Niners at skill positions, those NO fantasy football owner should touch:

- Alex Smith, QB: The second-year player threw a single TD pass in 2005. His hands are also too small to hold a football. Read that sentence again.

- Kevan Barlow, RB: We'll forget the annoying way he spells his first name, but Barlow's 3.3 yards/carry last season almost made Jamal Lewis look good. San Francisco would be well-served handing the starting job to Frank Gore.

- Arnaz Battle, WR: We guess this is the team's top wide out heading into 2006. He played quarterback in college.

Thee you have it. Allow The Files this piece of advice: if any of these players are on your fantasy football draft board, you've already lost.



by JJ Cameron

Maybe this will satisfy Terrell Owens:

While we hate him as much as any athlete on the planet, that hasn't stopped The Files from recommending TO be the first wide receiver chosen in upcoming fantasy football drafts. See, the media isn't entirely out to get him, as Owens stated recently on "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel."

T.O. in Big D"The only thing I can really think of is maybe it was the way I grew up, you know," he said. "I got picked on so much, and it's like I feel like I'm still constantly being picked on."

That must be it. Owens said he doesn't think reporters are necessarily conspiring against him as much as using him "to gain viewers' attention." Also, the man who once compared his free agent plight to the struggles of Rosa Parks says he's "misunderstood."

So, why has Owens been supposedly hated upon by journalists?

"That's the million-dollar question," he said. "Why me? … At some point it does get to me. And I can't say it enough. Dude, I'm human and that's what I'm trying to get people to understand."

We understand - he's a human being (an awful human being) - who's very good at catching footballs. It leaves fantasy football owners with a difficult question: Can you tolerate such a presence on your squad if it leads to many victories?


July 13, 2006


by JJ Cameron

Roethlisberger is Ready to GoThank goodness Ben Roethlisberger is okay - now we can return to what's really important: where should you select the Pittsburgh quarterback in your fantasy football draft?

In his first public appearance since a motorcycle accident, Big Ben explained how close he was to landing in the Super Bowl in the sky:

"They told me that I was literally seconds, maybe a minute away from dying because I slit a vein or artery in my mouth or my throat and it was draining blood right into my stomach and luckily the paramedic noticed it and stopped it or else I would have had too much blood in my stomach," he said.

Ouch. Amazingly, Roethlisberger is on pace to start the season for the defending champions. He also won't make a bad fantasy player.

Although The Files do not have him among our top 10 fantasy football quarterbacks, a player may be well-served to focus on other needs and grab the Pittsburgh star in a later round. With a surge and confidence - and a newfound appreciation for life - this would be a solid starter for any squad.


July 11, 2006


by JJ Cameron

Priest Runs WildAs if the decision to select Larry Johnson first in your fantasy football draft were not already a no-brainer, news from KC is as follows:

The career of Priest Holmes may be over. While the former star has four years remaining on his contract, he has yet to be cleared for contact, stemming from neck and head injuries sustained halfway through last season.

Holmes was a fantasy stud for three years, averaging over 1,500 yards and 18 touchdowns for the Chiefs. But Johnson took the ball and literally ran with it in 2005. He compiled 20 TDs in spot duty as a starter.

Even if Priest can eventually take the field, there's no reason to waste a draft choice on him. New coach Herman Edwards would be asking for a pink slip if he ever took LJ off the field.


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