Dolphins running back Ricky Williams was smoked by the NFL yesterday, so to speak. The eccentric star lost the appeal of his fourth NFL substance abuse policy violation and will be suspended for at least the entire 2006 season, a league spokesman said Tuesday.

Williams, who tested positive for an unknown substance in December, can't apply for reinstatement until after the entire 2006 season is completed. Despite the devastating news, a not-surprisingly mellow Williams issued a statement through the team saying he is planning another comeback once the suspension has run its course.

"I'm disappointed with the decision, but I respect it," Williams said. "I'm proud of my association with the National Football League and look forward to returning to the Dolphins in 2007."

Williams, who also missed the entire 2004 season after a positive drug test and a decision to smoke herb instead of pile up rushing records, will be 30 by the time he can next take the field. Whether or not he actually does so will hinge upon a couple of factors:

1. Williams' ability to stay in playing shape (questionable).
2. The federal court judgment that Miami holds against Williams that requires he repay his $8.6M signing bonus for breach of contract (significant).

In addition, the former Heisman winner has three children to care for, one of whom requires a monthly child support payment of $4,200. His longtime girlfriend, Kristen Barnes, is also pregnant with Williams' fourth child. Sounds like a good arrangement Ricky's got going.

I believe if someone offered me several million dollars in exchange for not smoking weed, I would be able to hold up my end of the deal. But that's just me. Considering most NFL players retire in their thirties, is it too much to ask of a man to put down the blunt for a couple of seasons, carry the ball a few hundred times, and amass an eight-figure nest egg? Which could actually help him realize his dream of a living in a perpetual drugged-out haze thereafter?

Forget it. At least Ron Mexico never jeopardized his earning potential with his off-the-field shenanigans. Good riddance, Ricky.

Ron Mexico appears to be dead. The supposed alias that Michael Vick used when seeking treatment for a sexually transmitted disease can be put to rest now that a lawsuit stemming from a woman who claimed the star QB infected her has been settled.

What does this have to do with fantasy football? Vick was a disappointment in 2005, barely throwing for 200 yards a game. He had to have been distracted by the pending legal troubles. With division rival Carolina fostering its lineup, however, Vick should be focused on this season.

The Saints also traded for Drew Brees, instantly improving their chances of overtaking Atlanta in the NFC South. Fans of the Falcons should rejoice over the news that Vick won't be blowing any more games due to thoughts of who has been blowing him after them.

We’re not saying you shouldn’t draft Randy Moss just because his agent was arrested. But it’s hard to imagine this occurrence having a positive effect on such a malcontented superstar.

Dante DiTrapno was taken into custody this week after failing to appear at a hearing from an arrest on March 14 for felony possession of crack cocaine. In this as bad as robbing people? It’s difficult to say. But Moss certainly robbed many fantasy owners of a quality season last year with his disappointing performance.

There are other reasons, meanwhile, why Moss may have fallen out of good graces with fantasy football owners. His future quarterback, Aaron Brooks, is one of them. Unless Moss dons the uniform of the opposing team, he may never see a pass come his way.

Other signings will also have a domino effect. Terrell Owens may be a despicable human being, but he’ll catch many touchdowns in Dallas next season. Steve Smith and Chad Johnson should also have risen above Moss on your draft board. As you can tell, the most arresting development from this story is that a certain Oakland receiver is no longer among the game’s elite.

Former Virginia Tech star Marcus Vick is fast. He also drives that way.

[Worst. Intro. Ever.]

In any case, the quarterback pleaded guilty Monday to traffic charges that contributed to his dismissal from the team earlier this year. Vick owes a whopping $236 in fines and court costs for driving 38 m.p.h. in a 25 m.p.h. zone without a valid license on December 17.

“It’s just a traffic situation,�? Vick, who made himself eligible for the NFL draft in April, said.

He was booted off the team at Virginia Tech on January 6 after a chain of events left the school no choice. Vick stomped on the calf of a defensive player during the Gator Bowl, then, a few days later, he was arrested for pulling a gun on three teenagers during an altercation in a restaurant parking lot. Awesome work. He faces three misdemeanor counts of brandishing a firearm.

The younger brother of Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was also convicted of serving alcohol to underage girls in 2003. Despite warranted comparisons to Maurice Clarett, the younger Vick will probably be selected in the NFL Draft and given a chance to succeed in the pros. The Sporting News has him going in the third round, and calls him “a steal” if someone can set him straight.

Good luck. Maybe getting paid will keep Vick out of trouble, although I wouldn’t bet on it. This guy is just plain Hokie! Sorry. Not that you will have the chance to pick him up in your fantasy league, but if you do, don’t. If that makes sense.

The prosecutor in the Minnesota Vikings’ sex cruise case denied that race played any role in his decision to charge four black players and not two white men for their alleged conduct on a cruise last October, reports a Minnesota TV news station.

Lawyers for quarterback Daunte Culpepper and running back Moe Williams accused prosecutor Steven Tallen of racial discrimination on Wednesday, serving a motion asking for the dismissal of charges against the two players, according to documents obtained by the Associated Press.

Culpepper, Williams, Bryant McKinnie and orchestrator/pimp Fred Smoot all face misdemeanor charges of indecent conduct and lewdness for their alleged behavior on two cruise parties held last October on Lake Minnetonka during the Vikings’ freaking bye week. The fearsome foursome pleaded not guilty.

Defense attorneys allege that a boat captain and another man - both white - engaged in indecent conduct but were not charged. Tallen rebuffed accusations that the Vikings players are being singled out, while issuing counteraccusations at the defense lawyers for playing “the race card” to cloud the issues.

The implications of the cruise on your fantasy draft? Culpepper is a solid option if he stays in Minnesota, though one can’t help but wonder if all this discrimination will take a toll on his confidence. Smoot is not much of a fantasy play, as most leagues do not count defensive stats or number of strippers hired. Forget Williams, he’s useless.

The most overlooked player in all of this? Backup running back Mewelde Moore, who wins the award for best reaction to media questioning about the incident with his classic quote: “That’s crazy. Sex? Come on.”

Former Ohio State star tailback and Denver Broncos reject Maurice Clarett pleaded not guilty to robbery charges Wednesday in Columbus, Ohio.

Prosecutors allowed Clarett, who is accused of brandishing a gun at two people at a bar on New Year’s Day and taking a cell phone, to enter his plea with the clerk’s office and avoid his scheduled arraignment Friday. The 22-year old left the scene in an SUV with two men after he was identified by the bar owner. No one was injured.

Clarett, who led Ohio State to the 2002 national championship, was sought by police for almost two days before he turned himself in. He was indicted on two counts of aggravated robbery, four lesser robbery charges and a concealed weapons charge, then released on his own recognizance.

The running back gained 1,237 yards and scored 16 touchdowns for Ohio State as a freshman in 2002. He was suspended for the 2003 season for filing a false police report claiming that more than $10,000 in belongings were stolen from him. He then attempted to enter the NFL Draft, challenging the league rule that players must be three years removed from high school. Multiple hearings and hundreds of thousands in legal fees later, his request was denied by appellate courts.

After finally meeting the age requirement, Clarett declared for the 2005 Draft and was taken with the 101st pick by the Denver Broncos. His NFL career consisted of him turning down a signing bonus of more than $400,000 in favor of an incentive-laden deal, then being waived in August after several run-ins with coaches and drinking alcohol in the team’s weight room.

This guy will not be resurfacing in the NFL anytime soon. But if there is a strike or something, or if a team loses its top six rushers (a la Green Bay, 2005) and he gets another shot, don’t even contemplate wasting your last roster spot on him. Unless your league has mid-season arrests as a statistical category.