Could Nick Saban have broken into Ricky Williams' stash? How else to explain the odd moves by the Miami head coach?

The club has recently inked two less than stellar quarterbacks. First, there was the trade for Joey Harrington. If Daunte Culpepper doesn't recover quickly from his injury, the former third overall draft pick could actually start under center on opening day for the Dolphins. That's hilarious.

Now, the team has gone ahead and signed Marcus Vick. A frequenter of the Files' legal section, Vick is best known for being stupid enough to ruin his draft status by stepping on opponents and carrying around guns. He's also the younger brother of Michael Vick and, as far as we know, is STD-free.

If either of these new Dolphins are actually throwing passes for the team, you might wanna rest Chris Chambers that week. But start whatever defense is taking the field against them!

All along, Donald Driver vowed that he wouldn't be like Javon Walker in his quest for a contract extension. Yesterday, the Green Bay wideout remained true to his word and signed a four-year deal with the Packers.

Driver may not end up getting paid as much as Walker, if the latter earns all the possible money in his contract with the Denver Broncos, but he got more guaranteed money — as well as the chance to stick with the team he loves. The 31-year-old Alcorn State product signed a four-year, $17 million deal that keep hims in Green Bay through 2009.

The receiver had two years remaining on a five-year, $11 million extension he signed in November 2002, and was scheduled to receive base salaries of $1.36 million this season and $1.84 million in 2007. Despite a $4 million signing bonus as part of that deal, he was underpaid compared to other wide receivers throughout the league. Not any longer.

"Donald is a special person as well as a special player," said Packers V.P. Andrew Brandt Thursday night.

The contract replaces the remaining two years on his previous deal and Drives (if you will) Donald's pay scale up considerably.

Driver will receive a guaranteed $5 million bonus, with a 2006 base salary of $950,000, and subsequent base salaries of $2.7 million, $2.9 million and $3.9 million in the next three years. More importantly, he's clearly in the Driver's seat (so to speak) as far as Green Bay's fantasy fortunes go. All the interceptions Brett Favre throws won't be docked from Driver's totals, which are sure to be impressive.

See if you can steal Donald in one of your draft's early rounds and prepare to Pile Drive your competition. Sorry. We'll stop now.

Let's start with the obvious: now that Jimmy Smith has retired, you probably shouldn't draft him on your fantasy football team. But how will this decision affect other aspects of your draft? What about other players on the Jaguars?

Despite his age, Smith led Jacksonville in receiving a season ago. If the team knew he'd turn in his cleats, perhaps they would've pursued a free agent such a Nate Burelson a bit harder. Nevertheless, the Jags are well stocked at WR.

Rookie Matt Jones came on strong to close last year and Ernest Wilford has been a surprise. It still won't be a potent offense - and Fred Taylor will be injured at least four times - but expect Greg Jones to find the endzone on more than one occasion.

We learned a couple of things from this weekend's NFL Draft:

1. The Texans are run by complete morons
2. Mel Kiper, Jr. has far too much time on his hands

The Files, of course, was paying close attention in order to provide our readers with the only information that matters: how will the players selected fare in fantasy leagues this season?

Our latest feature has the answers.